I'm Not Gone
I'm not gone...not really.
I haven't gone away...I've only gotten bigger.
My eyes, so bright, now shine among the stars.
My voice sings with the wind in winter, as I leap
And dance among the treetops.
I stalk the blown leaves in autumn, and brush the
Flowers gently in the spring.
I come to you in dreaming, on feet grown dreamtime soft,
And lay my cheek against yours, and whisper:
"Peace be with you."
Someday we will play again together, you and I, among the stars. 'Til
then, fear not to love, for your love gave my life meaning. And I
return that love to you...a hundredfold...a thousandfold... Forever.
- Audrey E. Nickel
I'm not quite sure where to start. I lost a ray of sunshine in my
life when my little Piggy went to the Rainbow Bridge today. How very
precious she was to me. I'm going to miss everything about her.
When I came home every afternoon, she would be waiting for me at the
top of the stairs. I would crawl up the last couple so we would be
face to face and that little curly tail would pop up and start
wagging and she would give me kisses. She'd follow me to the kitchen
and wait patiently for me to put down whatever I had and pick her
up. She'd lay her little head over on my shoulder as if to say "I
love you momma and am glad you're home"...all the while, that little
curly tail would be wagging. Sometimes I would stand and hold her
for up to 20 minutes at a time...just cuddling and loving. I'm going
to miss sharing my strawberries and bananas with her...the way she
would smack that little mouth and enjoy every bite. When I'd ask her
if she wanted up on the bed or couch with me, she'd always bounce on
her front legs as if to say "yeah, yeah, yeah". She'd come over and
sit beside my chair when I worked on the computer, or else raise up
on her hind legs and want me to pick her up to sit in my lap.
Sometimes I could tell exactly what she was wanting just by looking
at her...we had that connection.
Just this morning, I put her on my bed like I always do while
getting ready for work. She went to the corner, like she wanted
down, and I asked her if that's what she wanted, and she wiggled
like she knew what I was asking and she was answering. We'd go
outside on the back porch and sit in the swing...most of the time,
just me and her...and just sit there and snuggle...enjoying each
other's company. She brought me so much joy, every single day. I
couldn't wait to be with her and spent every possible minute I could
with her, loving her.
She loved going out to Feeder's Supply and TSC and meeting
people...she loved everybody and never knew a stranger. I never once
saw her snap at someone in a crabby way...occasionally she'd get
after 'the boys' (Barney and Clyde Patches) just to let them know
who was boss. She loved putting on her little dress or sweater, or
scrunchy...she'd always priss a little more when wearing them. She
loved getting her bath, but didn't like getting her face washed. I
just gave her one last night, so she was all fluffy and soft
today...her last day here on Earth.
I always knew the day would come when she would have to cross the
Rainbow Bridge, but that day has come too soon for me. I only had
her 15 short months, but it felt like she was always mine. I miss
her so very much. She was in my heart and took a big chunk of it
with her. I am comforted to know that she was home when her time
came, even if I didn't get to hold her one last time and tell her I
love her...I pray that she knew. I pray she didn't suffer and went
quickly, as we should all be so lucky. There will never be another
little angel like her. I know she's now free from her ailments...I
hope she knows I took the best care of her that I possibly could.
Anything she needed, she got. I will be looking for her on that
Rainbow Bridge one day, and look forward to the day when I can hold
her again, tell her she's my pretty girl, and give her kisses...and
feel her kisses again. How do you mend a broken heart?