I'm Not Gone

I'm not gone...not really.
I haven't gone away...I've only gotten bigger.
My eyes, so bright, now shine among the stars.
My voice sings with the wind in winter, as I leap
And dance among the treetops.
I stalk the blown leaves in autumn, and brush the
Flowers gently in the spring.
I come to you in dreaming, on feet grown dreamtime soft,
And lay my cheek against yours, and whisper:
"Peace be with you."
Someday we will play again together, you and I, among the stars. 'Til
then, fear not to love, for your love gave my life meaning. And I
return that love to you...a hundredfold...a thousandfold... Forever.

- Audrey E. Nickel

 




I'm not quite sure where to start. I lost a ray of sunshine in my life when my little Piggy went to the Rainbow Bridge today. How very precious she was to me. I'm going to miss everything about her.

When I came home every afternoon, she would be waiting for me at the top of the stairs. I would crawl up the last couple so we would be face to face and that little curly tail would pop up and start wagging and she would give me kisses. She'd follow me to the kitchen and wait patiently for me to put down whatever I had and pick her up. She'd lay her little head over on my shoulder as if to say "I love you momma and am glad you're home"...all the while, that little curly tail would be wagging. Sometimes I would stand and hold her for up to 20 minutes at a time...just cuddling and loving. I'm going to miss sharing my strawberries and bananas with her...the way she would smack that little mouth and enjoy every bite. When I'd ask her if she wanted up on the bed or couch with me, she'd always bounce on her front legs as if to say "yeah, yeah, yeah". She'd come over and sit beside my chair when I worked on the computer, or else raise up on her hind legs and want me to pick her up to sit in my lap. Sometimes I could tell exactly what she was wanting just by looking at her...we had that connection.



Just this morning, I put her on my bed like I always do while getting ready for work. She went to the corner, like she wanted down, and I asked her if that's what she wanted, and she wiggled like she knew what I was asking and she was answering. We'd go outside on the back porch and sit in the swing...most of the time, just me and her...and just sit there and snuggle...enjoying each other's company. She brought me so much joy, every single day. I couldn't wait to be with her and spent every possible minute I could with her, loving her.



She loved going out to Feeder's Supply and TSC and meeting people...she loved everybody and never knew a stranger. I never once saw her snap at someone in a crabby way...occasionally she'd get after 'the boys' (Barney and Clyde Patches) just to let them know who was boss. She loved putting on her little dress or sweater, or scrunchy...she'd always priss a little more when wearing them. She loved getting her bath, but didn't like getting her face washed. I just gave her one last night, so she was all fluffy and soft today...her last day here on Earth.

I always knew the day would come when she would have to cross the Rainbow Bridge, but that day has come too soon for me. I only had her 15 short months, but it felt like she was always mine. I miss her so very much. She was in my heart and took a big chunk of it with her. I am comforted to know that she was home when her time came, even if I didn't get to hold her one last time and tell her I love her...I pray that she knew. I pray she didn't suffer and went quickly, as we should all be so lucky. There will never be another little angel like her. I know she's now free from her ailments...I hope she knows I took the best care of her that I possibly could. Anything she needed, she got. I will be looking for her on that Rainbow Bridge one day, and look forward to the day when I can hold her again, tell her she's my pretty girl, and give her kisses...and feel her kisses again. How do you mend a broken heart?


 
 
 

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